How Did Your Day Go ?

mine went something like this
There is not a SINGLE competent individual employed within a 20-mile radius of my place of business. I am surrounded ENTIRELY by idiots and social rejects. I understand that I work in what is essentially Brooklyns’s armpit, but Jesus ******* CHRIST, everyone I see is nothing more than a pathetic waste of the nasty-*** body they inhabit.
It was my lunch hour. I needed Scotch tape. I went to the Wal-Mart down the road to procure some. Little did I know that this would become a battle with my own sanity before I left. Now, I can’t say that I’ve been shopping for Scotch tape in recent memory, so I wasn’t exactly sure where to find it. My best guess placed me in the aisle with all of the household cleaning supplies. No go. So I went an aisle over to find some immigrant worker stocking paper towels. Clearly, this guy would know where to find the Scotch tape. Or, at least, that’s what I thought at first.
“Excuse me, Sir? I’m looking for Scotch tape,” I say.
The man looks up from his work, standing up to a good three and a half feet tall. Apparently, this particular Wal-Mart was looking to meet its Oompa Loompa quota. ” Scotch tape?” he asks?
“Yeah, Scotch tape.”
He stares at me blankly for a few seconds. “Spray?” he confusedly replies.
Oh, Jesus. This was a mistake. “No, it’s not a spray.”
So, Oompy Boy takes me back to the aisle I was just in, points into it, and declares “Spray.” Then, he walks off. And so we have strike one. I set off again to locate somebody that both worked there AND spoke English, a task that would prove nigh-impossible. I eventually run into this old lady dragging a cart of boxes around. I ask her where the Scotch tape is. She replies that it’s either in the aisle I was just in, or in the aisle with the carpet cleaners. Well, I was just in the aisle I was just in, and couldn’t find the Scotch tape even with the assistance of a little orange man. I relayed this information to the lady.
She took me back to the aisle I was just in, anyways. I hate people.
As soon as the lady realized that there was not, in fact, any Scotch tape in this aisle, I was pointed in the direction of carpet cleaners about halfway across the store. I embarked on my journey at once. I soon arrived, but alas, no Scotch tape. The carpet cleaners section contained, amazingly enough, only carpet cleaners. Apparently not having suffered enough from my previous two encounters, I again set out to seek the assistance of a salesperson. Each attempt proved increasingly difficult, as salespeople at this particular Wal-Mart were about as elusive as naked women at the Neverland Ranch. I had made it all the way to pool supplies before I managed to catch up to one unable to scurry away from me before I could plead for help, possibly because her fat *** seemed to weigh in excess of a metric ton. I ask her where I can find some Scotch tape.
” Scotch tape?” she asks.
Oh, Jesus. Here we go again. “Yeah, Scotch tape.”
“Check the cleaning supplies aisle over in groceries,” she suggests.
Yeah, that wasn’t going to fly. I politely inform her that her suggested avenue had already been explored, and that she had best provide a more suitable answer before I buried my foot deep inside of her size-52 ***.
“Umm… hardware?” she says. This was not a more suitable answer. My reply, though nonverbal, seemed to convey my feelings on the subject. Long live the power of the facepalm!
So, Tubby walks me over to another sales assistant, who she then proceeds to ask, “Yo Quiero Scotch tape?”
The other associate turns to look at her and then, in perfect English, replies, “what’s Scotch tape?”
Oh, God. Butterball spent a few seconds trying to explain it to her before finally turning to me and again pointing me in the direction of hardware. Eager to be away from the hungry clutches of a hideous beast likely to eat me at her next feeding time, I left for hardware.
Upon entering hardware, I encounter a Hispanic lady that strongly resembled Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, only with more tattoos and considerably less attractive. I asked her where I may procure so Scotch tape and was pointed towards automotives. Fine. Automotives sounded like a better idea than hardware, so I went to go check it out. Alas, still no Scotch tape. So, I head back to the hardware whore and demand that I be shown to the Scotch tape in automotive. She complies, and I back off to automotives with the bassist from Motley Crue in tow. She searches for a little while, but is unable to find the object of my desire. Another sales rep, who was apparently lord and master of the automotive section appeared and was flagged down for help by the ***** from hardware. After presented with the situation, the Queen of Automotive Land formally declared that Scotch tape had been discontinued.
Right. Scotch tape has been discontinued. And I’m the king of ******* Spain.
The Automotive Mistress begins a long speech about how unpopular

Hardwood Floors Or Ceramic Tile. Your Preference?

My wife and I will be installing new flooring in our house in the near future. We’re trying to decide the best route to take. We will probably put the house up for sale in about 5 years, so we want to consider resale value/attraction.
So, if you were buying a house, would you prefer real hardwood, ceramic tile, or a combination of the two, throughout the whole house (2800 sf)? We prefer to have hard floors in all of the rooms, but would you (as a buyer) prefer carpet in the bedrooms?
Thanks for any input.

So How Did Your Day Go So Far?

mine went something like this….
There is not a SINGLE competent individual employed within a 20-mile radius of my place of business. I am surrounded ENTIRELY by idiots and social rejects. I understand that I work in what is essentially Brooklyns’s armpit, but Jesus ******* CHRIST, everyone I see is nothing more than a pathetic waste of the nasty-*** body they inhabit.
It was my lunch hour. I needed Scotch tape. I went to the Wal-Mart down the road to procure some. Little did I know that this would become a battle with my own sanity before I left. Now, I can’t say that I’ve been shopping for Scotch tape in recent memory, so I wasn’t exactly sure where to find it. My best guess placed me in the aisle with all of the household cleaning supplies. No go. So I went an aisle over to find some immigrant worker stocking paper towels. Clearly, this guy would know where to find the Scotch tape. Or, at least, that’s what I thought at first.
“Excuse me, Sir? I’m looking for Scotch tape,” I say.
The man looks up from his work, standing up to a good three and a half feet tall. Apparently, this particular Wal-Mart was looking to meet its Oompa Loompa quota. ” Scotch tape?” he asks?
“Yeah, Scotch tape.”
He stares at me blankly for a few seconds. “Spray?” he confusedly replies.
Oh, Jesus. This was a mistake. “No, it’s not a spray.”
So, Oompy Boy takes me back to the aisle I was just in, points into it, and declares “Spray.” Then, he walks off. And so we have strike one. I set off again to locate somebody that both worked there AND spoke English, a task that would prove nigh-impossible. I eventually run into this old lady dragging a cart of boxes around. I ask her where the Scotch tape is. She replies that it’s either in the aisle I was just in, or in the aisle with the carpet cleaners. Well, I was just in the aisle I was just in, and couldn’t find the Scotch tape even with the assistance of a little orange man. I relayed this information to the lady.
She took me back to the aisle I was just in, anyways. I hate people.
As soon as the lady realized that there was not, in fact, any Scotch tape in this aisle, I was pointed in the direction of carpet cleaners about halfway across the store. I embarked on my journey at once. I soon arrived, but alas, no Scotch tape. The carpet cleaners section contained, amazingly enough, only carpet cleaners. Apparently not having suffered enough from my previous two encounters, I again set out to seek the assistance of a salesperson. Each attempt proved increasingly difficult, as salespeople at this particular Wal-Mart were about as elusive as naked women at the Neverland Ranch. I had made it all the way to pool supplies before I managed to catch up to one unable to scurry away from me before I could plead for help, possibly because her fat *** seemed to weigh in excess of a metric ton. I ask her where I can find some Scotch tape.
” Scotch tape?” she asks.
Oh, Jesus. Here we go again. “Yeah, Scotch tape.”
“Check the cleaning supplies aisle over in groceries,” she suggests.
Yeah, that wasn’t going to fly. I politely inform her that her suggested avenue had already been explored, and that she had best provide a more suitable answer before I buried my foot deep inside of her size-52 ***.
“Umm… hardware?” she says. This was not a more suitable answer. My reply, though nonverbal, seemed to convey my feelings on the subject. Long live the power of the facepalm!
So, Tubby walks me over to another sales assistant, who she then proceeds to ask, “Yo Quiero Scotch tape?”
The other associate turns to look at her and then, in perfect English, replies, “what’s Scotch tape?”
Oh, God. Butterball spent a few seconds trying to explain it to her before finally turning to me and again pointing me in the direction of hardware. Eager to be away from the hungry clutches of a hideous beast likely to eat me at her next feeding time, I left for hardware.
Upon entering hardware, I encounter a Hispanic lady that strongly resembled Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, only with more tattoos and considerably less attractive. I asked her where I may procure so Scotch tape and was pointed towards automotives. Fine. Automotives sounded like a better idea than hardware, so I went to go check it out. Alas, still no Scotch tape. So, I head back to the hardware whore and demand that I be shown to the Scotch tape in automotive. She complies, and I back off to automotives with the bassist from Motley Crue in tow. She searches for a little while, but is unable to find the object of my desire. Another sales rep, who was apparently lord and master of the automotive section appeared and was flagged down for help by the ***** from hardware. After presented with the situation, the Queen of Automotive Land formally declared that Scotch tape had been discontinued.
Right. Scotch tape has been discontinued. And I’m the king of ******* Spain.
The Automotive Mistress begins a long speech about how unpopular

How Did Your Day Go So Far?

my day basically went like this
It was after school, and after lacrosse practice. I needed Scotch tape. I went to the Wal-Mart down the road to procure some. Little did I know that this would become a battle with my own sanity before I left. Now, I can’t say that I’ve been shopping for Scotch tape in recent memory, so I wasn’t exactly sure where to find it. My best guess placed me in the aisle with all of the household cleaning supplies. No go. So I went an aisle over to find some immigrant worker stocking paper towels. Clearly, this guy would know where to find the Scotch tape. Or, at least, that’s what I thought at first.
“Excuse me, Sir? I’m looking for Scotch tape,” I say.
The man looks up from his work, standing up to a good three and a half feet tall. Apparently, this particular Wal-Mart was looking to meet its Oompa Loompa quota. ” Scotch tape?” he asks?
“Yeah, Scotch tape.”
He stares at me blankly for a few seconds. “Spray?” he confusedly replies.
Oh, Jesus. This was a mistake. “No, it’s not a spray.”
So, Oompy Boy takes me back to the aisle I was just in, points into it, and declares “Spray.” Then, he walks off. And so we have strike one. I set off again to locate somebody that both worked there AND spoke English, a task that would prove nigh-impossible. I eventually run into this old lady dragging a cart of boxes around. I ask her where the Scotch tape is. She replies that it’s either in the aisle I was just in, or in the aisle with the carpet cleaners. Well, I was just in the aisle I was just in, and couldn’t find the Scotch tape even with the assistance of a little orange man. I relayed this information to the lady.
She took me back to the aisle I was just in, anyways. I hate people.
As soon as the lady realized that there was not, in fact, any Scotch tape in this aisle, I was pointed in the direction of carpet cleaners about halfway across the store. I embarked on my journey at once. I soon arrived, but alas, no Scotch tape. The carpet cleaners section contained, amazingly enough, only carpet cleaners. Apparently not having suffered enough from my previous two encounters, I again set out to seek the assistance of a salesperson. Each attempt proved increasingly difficult, as salespeople at this particular Wal-Mart were about as elusive as naked women at the Neverland Ranch. I had made it all the way to pool supplies before I managed to catch up to one unable to scurry away from me before I could plead for help, possibly because her fat *** seemed to weigh in excess of a metric ton. I ask her where I can find some Scotch tape.
” Scotch tape?” she asks.
Oh, Jesus. Here we go again. “Yeah, Scotch tape.”
“Check the cleaning supplies aisle over in groceries,” she suggests.
Yeah, that wasn’t going to fly. I politely inform her that her suggested avenue had already been explored, and that she had best provide a more suitable answer before I buried my foot deep inside of her size-52 ***.
“Umm… hardware?” she says. This was not a more suitable answer. My reply, though nonverbal, seemed to convey my feelings on the subject. Long live the power of the facepalm!
So, Tubby walks me over to another sales assistant, who she then proceeds to ask, “Yo Quiero Scotch tape?”
The other associate turns to look at her and then, in perfect English, replies, “what’s Scotch tape?”
Oh, God. Butterball spent a few seconds trying to explain it to her before finally turning to me and again pointing me in the direction of hardware. Eager to be away from the hungry clutches of a hideous beast likely to eat me at her next feeding time, I left for hardware.
Upon entering hardware, I encounter a Hispanic lady that strongly resembled Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, only with more tattoos and considerably less attractive. I asked her where I may procure so Scotch tape and was pointed towards automotives. Fine. Automotives sounded like a better idea than hardware, so I went to go check it out. Alas, still no Scotch tape. So, I head back to the hardware whore and demand that I be shown to the Scotch tape in automotive. She complies, and I back off to automotives with the bassist from Motley Crue in tow. She searches for a little while, but is unable to find the object of my desire. Another sales rep, who was apparently lord and master of the automotive section appeared and was flagged down for help by the ***** from hardware. After presented with the situation, the Queen of Automotive Land formally declared that Scotch tape had been discontinued.
Right. Scotch tape has been discontinued. And I’m the king of ******* Spain.
The Automotive Mistress begins a long speech about how unpopular products are discontinued after awhile and I will have nothing of it. I cut her off and ask if they have any of a product just like Scotch tape. I am taken and dragged deep into the bowels of automotives in search of this mysterious substitute. Automotives Whore points me towards some leather polish. Way to go. I t

Measurement Of Success, A Poem For Your Comment?

Another free form oldie – happy to receive your corrections
Measurement of success
Go on
have a guess
How many feet
crossed that line
trod this passage
stood on this patch
felt the nakedness of carpet
been de-liberated
then quickly imprisoned
felt the shame of publicity
and the glamour of newness
been squeezed and tortured
given room they don’t need
looked at themselves in fancy dress
with a critical eye
been pampered and lied to
been convinced and satisfied
tried and failed and tried
and failed
Guess
how many feet
between
profit and success
fit and failure
choice and reward
bargain and decision
how many halves
compared to wholes
how many fractions
to the right number
how many eyes
have stared
lifeless
how many tongues
have remained silent
how many rejections
how much disinterest
how much impulse
how many feet
between a sale and a loss
How many soles have you sold today?

What Makes People Want To Buy Your House When It Is For Sale?

We put our house on the market this past week and have had 2 showings so far, but no bites. Our home is clean, remodeled with fresh paint (outside and in), new carpet, very organized, and I have air freshners all over the place. It has a basement (semi finished), two car garage (detached), four bedrooms, big deck, and fully fenced yard. Best of all, it is priced lower than other homes in our area that have sold for much more in the past 6 months. Why don’t people want our house!?

The Kirby Vaccuum Cleaner Company Uk – Your Thoughts?

I am thinking of lodging a formal complaint against the above company and contacting watch dog. Have any of you had any experience with them?
You know the ones…
They come to your door and GIVE you a raffle ticket offering a FREE carpet cleaning session as one of the prizes. They take your phone number then low and behold 1 week later you have won the carpet clean!!
Then turn up and demonstrate their cleaner, dont actually clean your carpet at all. Then they blackmail you by saying that they are on the leader board for sales and that if they sell the cleaner to you then they will have won a trip to jamaica or something!
So then you buy the kirby and they get you to sign up for a service contract. This is an annual service but every year they will phone you 2 months before the service is due so that you end up paying for an annual service but only getting 10 months cover…. so con you even when you have bought the thing!
Just wondered if anyone else had had dealings????

If You Had The Choice Of Cleaning Your Carpet With A Dry Carpet Cleaning Or A Wet One Which Would You Do?

I have found a system that will clean your carpets with a sponge type substance that cleans the carpet phenomenally. I had spilled some massage oil in the carpet and when cleaned up with this product it cleaned it up like it never happened. I was looking into having this as a business so am looking at market research.

How Do You Do Your Spring Cleaning?

Do you gut the room, patch, paint and shampoo the carpet. Then go through all the drawers and closets?
Do you hire someone in to do the work?
Do you blow off the inside of the house in favor of gardening?
Do you have garage / yard sales?

What Are You Allowed To Take When Your Home Is Foreclosed On? Carpet? Cabinnets? I Did, Now I’m Getting Sued..

My house was foreclosed on recently, and I owned the house until I moved out. Until then I decided to take all the cabinets, carpet, everything. I’ve heard countless people did this, and I found no information that this was not allowed. Since the home is in MY name, I kinda think that I have a right to my property. Someone bought my home at a foreclosure sale, and I was supposed to recieve the difference from the sale. (difference of what I mortgaged the home fore, and what the home was bought on auction for.)
Well, for a while I didn’t get any answer when I would recieve the money. So I went to the court house and filed an official request to the judge to recieve that money.
Then just recently I got a letter saying that the people who bought my home on the foreclosure sale are suing me for property damage. Oddly they filed the suet on the same day as when I filed the request to the judge.
What can I do? I know that what I took was MY property that I BOUGHT.
Any help?
thnx

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